kaisooficrec

By the time they reach the end of their stay in Beijing, Kyungsoo can honestly say that he's ready to leave China's capital. Kyungsoo considers himself a city boy, but Beijing is almost too much. Too crowded, too smelly, too chaotic. By the end of their fourth day in Beijing, he feels like they've seen everything he wanted to see, he's eaten all the Beijing-famous food he wanted to try, he's had enough of the city as a whole. He's ready to go.

Beijing, however, seems eager to keep them, because everything works against them the morning of their train ride to Shijiazhuang, and the Beijing train station is huge and hectic and confusing as hell, and they get in the wrong line the first time because they can't read the Chinese characters above the booths, and they end up missing their train by mere minutes.

Kyungsoo lets out one long, drawn-out groan of displeasure. "Ghhhhhuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh. Great."

Jongin glances back at him with a slightly pained smile. "I'll ask her if we need to buy new ones," he says.

"I'm sorry for being completely useless," Kyungsoo says, wincing. "They really don't speak nearly as much English here as I was anticipating."

"It's fine," Jongin says, and he turns back to the lady at the counter with his Mandarin phrasebook in his hands.

Kyungsoo backs away from the line, pushing through a knot of five businessmen to slip into a less-crowded area, and sheds the heavy backpack on his back, as well as the smaller backpack he has slung across his front. His feet already hurt, his shoulders are sore, and he can't believe they missed their train. It wasn't an expensive one or anything, so buying a new ticket won't be that terrible, but it's still annoying and stupid and Jongin probably blames him.

Speaking of whom, Jongin returns to his side two minutes later, smiling hesitantly. "So, from what I could understand, which was very little, because it's loud and I could barely hear her, we can exchange our tickets for free. We just have to go, um, outside and to the right? Maybe? Those were...the only words I understood."

Kyungsoo shrugs, picking up his backpacks again. "That's great. Lead the way."

Jongin does, stepping outside and immediately stopping to chew on his lip, look around, and say, "Maybe...this way?" They walk a while, find nothing, and stop for Jongin to ask another worker there. But it's still loud and chaotic and Jongin still only understands half of what they say, and they wander around for another five minutes on tired feet before he finds a help desk and asks them. They get more vague directions, and finally find what they think is the right place, and only find out after waiting in line for ten minutes that it is a different place entirely and receive, of course, more vague directions to the actual right place.

"I'm sorry," Jongin says, smiling embarrassedly at Kyungsoo as they climb yet another set of stairs, wincing at every step. "They're not very good at speaking to non-native speakers."

"No, don't apologize," Kyungsoo says quickly, realizing he probably looks angry as hell in the midst of his pain and frustration. "You're—you're doing great." Amazing, really, facing each new person with a smile and earnest politeness, flipping through his phrasebook as quickly as his fingers can manage, somehow managing to be patient and friendly even though he must be even more sore and tired than Kyungsoo is.

Ten minutes later, Kyungsoo sits with their luggage against the wall while Jongin waits in line hopefully for the last time, glancing up from his phone periodically to check on the younger man's progress, wondering how he can express to Jongin exactly how grateful he is that he's handling this. If Kyungsoo were alone, he'd be screwed. How can he possibly show Jongin just how much he appreciates this?

His brain happily supplies him with mental images of long, deep kisses on hostel beds, and Kyungsoo immediately hits the back of his head against the tiled wall behind him to rid himself of it. That is bad. That is really bad.

Fortunately (or maybe unfortunately), Jongin returns a minute later, this time grinning. "I got 'em!" he crows, loud enough for a few people to turn around and stare. "I am the best."

"You are," Kyungsoo says, scrambling to his feet. "Train to Shijiazhuang for today?"

"Yeah, leaves in two hours. But, uh." He flushes slightly. "The, um, the only tickets they had left were standing room. I figured it was okay? Because it's only a two-hour train ride?"

"Yeah, no, that's fine," Kyungsoo says, flapping his hand. "Seriously, thank you so much for doing all that. I feel awful for not helping at all."

"It's no problem," Jongin says, beaming. "I mean, the whole process was like pulling teeth, and I feel like dying, and I think I unintentionally insulted a few people, but we have tickets!" He hands Kyungsoo his ticket and passport proudly. "Now, let's go find something to eat and somewhere to sit down before I collapse."

They find a little noodle place on the upper level of the station, and the food isn't that good, but neither of them cares. They're just happy to be in chairs, resting their tired bodies, with their train tickets safely in their hands.

After eating, they have enough time to just sit around in the train station for a while, so while Jongin reads again, Kyungsoo gets out his laptop and makes several attempts at connecting to the station's terrible wi-fi. It finally works, kind of, and he checks his emails and sends Baekhyun a few messages about their train troubles, and then he clicks through a few websites idly. He checks his most recent blog post, covering days 3 and 4 in Beijing, for any comments, which he answers quickly, and then he checks his first one. There are no new comments since the previous night, so he scrolls up through the post, glancing at the half-loaded pictures and grimacing at his bad jokes, and then he sees the link to Jongin's Instagram and sneaks a peek at the man beside him. Jongin is totally absorbed in his book, chin on one hand and e-reader in the other as he hunches over in his seat, and Kyungsoo is only going to look at it really quickly. He just wants to see what pictures he's posted of their trip.

He clicks on the link, scrolls through a couple pictures of yesterday's hutong and temples with pretty generic captions, and then he sees the selfie Jongin had taken of the two of them at the park the day before that, and he chokes a little. Jongin chose the one where Kyungsoo is smiling like a little kid, all wide and heart-shaped, and Kyungsoo wants to hide his face in shame. Relaxing before the rain hit at Beihai Park, the caption reads. #ourpoorfeet #thelakewasprettytho #lookatoursweaters #twinning

Oh, god. He did mention the sweaters. The picture has over 2000 likes—a testament to how many fans Jongin has—and, to Kyungsoo's horror, over 50 comments. Swallowing hard, he clicks on them, and sees a sea of compliments. And not just for Jongin. They're calling Kyungsoo cute, too, and hot, and asking who he is, and, god, saying that they look cute together. They do look pretty cozy in the picture, pressed fairly close together and smiling, and the caption does make reference to them as a unit, but still. Kyungsoo wants to disappear. He wants to delete this from his memory. He never should have let that picture be taken, and he never should have went on Jongin's Instagram. Somehow, for some reason, his subconscious considers this the Ultimate Embarrassment, even worse than Jongin thinking Kyungsoo might be interested in him, because now other people are suggesting it, and Kyungsoo wants to die.

Even if they do look cute together.

"Is it time to go yet?" Jongin asks suddenly, and Kyungsoo nearly breaks a finger closing the tab.

"Uh. Half an hour to boarding," he says, sweating and not looking at Jongin.

"Okay. I'm gonna go pee then."

"Alright."

Kyungsoo watches Jongin wander towards the bathrooms with a queasy kind of dread. He's starting to really like Jongin. Like, he's always liked Jongin, but now he's starting to seriously like him, and that can only mean disaster. Because the more Kyungsoo likes someone, the more of a hot mess he becomes.

And he's already one hell of a hot mess.

The train ride to Shijiazhuang is pure and utter torture. The train is packed full, and standing room means finding a space to squeeze yourself in between rows of seats or in front of bathroom doors, holding your breath while the person next to you smokes cigarette after cigarette. It’s two hours of sitting on filthy floors and getting up every time a trolley comes through, trying to stay out of the way but constantly touching people because there’s not enough room not to be.

Which means, of course, that Kyungsoo spends an uncomfortable amount of time pressed right up against Jongin, their thighs touching and their knees bumping, grabbing each other in their mad scrambles to get upright and avoid getting their toes run over, practically rubbing up against each other in the middle of a crowded, dirty train. It’s horrifying.

Jongin, as expected, absolutely hates it. It’s obvious that he wasn’t expecting to be so cramped on the train, and he starts swallowing compulsively and sweating almost immediately, taking deep breaths and closing his eyes and groaning softly. Kyungsoo does his best to keep the area around them clear, shifting and angling his body to give Jongin the illusion of having more room to move around, but it’s hard when they’re packed in there like sardines. He doesn’t have a full-out panic attack, and Kyungsoo is glad, but the poor guy looks downright miserable for the entire two hours.

It’s basically the worst situation ever, for both of them, but it’s also much, much better than being alone, because Kyungsoo can do a little bit to help, and Jongin sends Kyungsoo wry looks over his e-reader when the smoker lights another cigarette, and he makes quiet commentary in mumbled English about the people around him just for Kyungsoo to hear, and he talks about their situation in an exaggeratedly pleasant tone about how great this is turning out to be. Even better than expected. Five star experience. That combined piss-and-cigarettes aroma.

Jongin basically saves Kyungsoo from giving up on life and taking the next plane back to California, even in the midst of his own claustrophobic nightmare, and turns the hellish experience into something Kyungsoo knows he’ll laugh about in the future, even if they can’t just yet.

Needless to say, they're both relieved when they reach Shijiazhuang's train station and tumble off into the open. Jongin drags in deep breaths of fresh air, looking suspiciously close to tears of joy, and basks in the sunlight when they get outside.

Shijiazhuang is considerably smaller than Beijing, with no subway system and a mere 10 million people (compared to Beijing's 21 million), and rather than finding a hostel here, Kyungsoo had opted for renting a room out of the home of a Chinese couple for $25 a night. They take the bus route their host had sent him, and Kyungsoo thanks whatever deities may exist that Jongin knows enough Mandarin that he can hear the right stop played on the intercom, because all the signs are in Chinese.

It takes them another forty minutes to find their homestay, stopping to ask poor, innocent passersby for help, and eventually make it to the right apartment complex and find their way inside. Their host greets them at the door, a middle-aged Chinese man with broken but passable English.

"You brothers?" the man—he calls himself Li—asks, inviting them in and pointing out the bathroom and kitchen on the way to their room.

Kyungsoo almost snorts, because he knows he and Jongin look nothing alike. "Friends," he says, because it's too hard to explain temporary co-workers and travel partners.

"Ah," Li says, nodding knowingly. "Bed is on floor, so you can move together."

Kyungsoo immediately goes red, and behind him, Jongin laughs. "Thank you," he says cheerfully, and Kyungsoo just hides his face.

"Why you come to Shijiazhuang?" Li asks after he's shown them their little, cluttered room—which does, indeed, consist of two mats on the floor for beds. Kyungsoo shouldn't have expected better, for $25 a night.

"We came to see Cangyan," Kyungsoo says, stumbling over the pronunciation and grimacing.

"Where?"

"Uhh. The mountains? There are mountains, right?" Kyungsoo panics momentarily. Did he book a room in the wrong city?

"Ah! Cangyan." Li repeats the word, presumably with the correct pronunciation and tones. "Yes, I know. Cangyan. Very beautiful."

Kyungsoo nods, smiling with relief.

Of course, he goes ice cold with embarrassment a second later when Li offers to pull their beds together for them and he has to fumblingly assure him that there's no need, and Jongin just laughs behind him uselessly.

"Why did you encourage him," Kyungsoo hisses once Li leaves to get them some tea, glaring at Jongin.

"You didn't correct him either," Jongin says, grinning as he drops his backpack on his makeshift bed.

"I was too embarrassed," Kyungsoo mumbles, looking away. "I told you that's my greatest fear."

Jongin flashes him a smile. "So you figured you'd just be more embarrassed by letting him assume?"

"I don't know. I didn't think he'd keep pushing it."

"You have to use your words, Kyungsoo. Otherwise how will people know what you're thinking?" Jongin's tongue pokes through his teeth teasingly.

Kyungsoo bites his lip and stays silent. Baekhyun tells him that all the time. If you maybe just told people you don't hate them, then they wouldn't always think you do. Use your words. But it's not that easy for him. Baekhyun—and Jongin, for that matter—can just say whatever they want, whenever, to anyone, without long internal struggles or lasting repercussions. Kyungsoo has to be deliberate, has to spend long minutes choosing his words carefully, has to feel comfortable enough that he won't freeze up and close off, has to fight The Asshole into submission and consider whether or not his following words will lead to him cursing himself for the rest of the day or week, sick with humiliation or regret. And by then it's usually to late to say anything anyway.

They don't understand.

Li brings them their tea a minute later, and Kyungsoo uses it as an excuse to stay silent for the next few minutes while Jongin makes simple conversation with their host, choking down his drink even though he can barely even handle tea when it's sweetened. Jongin asks for more detailed instructions on how to get to the mountains, which Li supplies readily, and they chat about what else there is to do in the area, since they'll be in the city for two full days and only in the mountains for one. Li's wife, a sweet woman who calls herself Jing, arrives and talks through her husband in rapid-fire Mandarin, which Li translates into simple English. Through it all, Kyungsoo keeps to himself, nursing his disgusting mug of tea.

They escape at last to get dinner at a nearby noodle house, and Jongin spends some time filming the city around them, telling the camera about their terrible experience with the train and about their homestay. Kyungsoo watches in silence, quietly jealous of Jongin's complete lack of shame, his ability to talk loudly to himself in public and not care that he's attracting attention, his easy confidence and how unembarrassed he is when he mispronounces their orders the first two times he tries to read them off the menu. He is everything Kyungsoo wishes he could be.

Conquering China (Without Sacrificing the Bank) - Shijiazhuang, Days 6 & 7
Written by Kyungsoo

Jongin and I have been pretty busy for the past two days—some good stuff, some not so good. Isn't that how it always is on vacation, though? And then you just forcefully forget all the bad stuff when you get home and tell people you had an amazing time every second of every day.

On Day 6, we took the bus from our homestay to Cangyan Mountain, only slightly sore from having slept on the floor. The bus system is actually super tricky in Shijiazhuang, because they don't believe in making things easy for foreign visitors, but our hosts were really helpful (another point in the favour of homestays!).

So the bus ride was slightly stressful, especially because we had to get up really early to make it to the bus stop in time (as there are a limited number of buses to the mountains), and then terrifying, because the trucks carrying massive loads of coal from the Shanxi mines along the expressway care approximately not at all about cutting you off and killing you, but guys. The mountains. Beautiful. Possibly even worth death by coal truck.

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I thought the Great Wall was amazing, but Cangyan was on another level entirely. It wasn't a very nice day for hiking—hot and humid, peaking at a wonderful 91°—but besides all the times we almost died or puked, the entire trip was fantastic. There was a tourist center, thankfully, and a cable car, and that was all fine and well, but the views. I mean it. Wow.

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Remember poor Jongin praying before the stairs on the Great Wall? Here's part 2, only with an even more gorgeous background.

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The star of Cangyan Mountain, the Hanging Palace, a monastery perched on a stone bridge.

I don't even have enough words for how beautiful the mountains were, and the sights scattered across them. We obviously couldn't cover it all, because we are pathetic humans with feet that can only take so much hiking, but everything we did see was fantastic. The faint scent of burning incense wafted on the air from the temples, carrying a sense of magic and mystery, and we just sat around and stared out at the view for a solid hour, resting and taking it in. Simply gorgeous.

Have some more pictures, because I took at least a million.

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By the time we got home from that exciting expedition, we were exhausted and didn't really feel like doing much else, so we got a ton of food and ate it at our homestay and watched a Chinese movie with English subtitles with our hosts. Not the best film I've ever seen—I didn't even catch the title—but it felt very Chinese, so that was pretty cool.

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Fresh fruit, roadside stall noodles, and an array of snacks, featuring Jongin's hand as he snatches something.

So basically, yeah, Day 6: conquered!

On Day 7, we had a much more relaxing day, spending the majority wandering around the city and resting when we felt like it. We went to a few shopping districts and into a mall so that Jongin could go on a souvenir-buying binge, purchasing the weirdest things he could find "for his friends." I'll say one thing about China: the souvenirs are plentiful, and they are cheap. And they have really funny English on them.

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Jongin proudly showing off the shirt he bought, which, if you can't read it, says "whats so FUCK then." He picked this one out of dozens.

After exploring the underground mall, we went to the park to chill for a while, and by chill, I mean I listened to music and took pictures and people-watched while Jongin looked at dogs and whispered, "Jongin, no, you can pet dogs in California" to himself when he thought I couldn't hear him. The park was pretty, though, even if it was blazing hot and I'm developing a wicked farmer's tan. We got a lot of ice cream.

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The very pretty Chang'an Park, featuring one of those dogs Jongin liked.

Our last adventure of the day was, bizarrely, hitting up a seedy little massage parlour for foot massages. I'm not sure how Jongin conned me into doing this, because I don't remember ever agreeing. But he got what he deserved, because sh*t f***ing f***. Those massages hurt like a b*tch. For one thing, all the workers are young men, and their hands are really strong. And they use them. And like, when I think massage, I think of something relaxing and therapeutic. But this was some next level sh*t. I thought they were breaking some bones in there. I think Jongin cried.

But, all things said, it was really funny and a very Chinese experience. 9/10 would recommend just for the hilarity factor (but only once).

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The only pleasant part of the experience; the foot bath at the end.

We actually got kind of lost on our way back to our homestay, possibly because we missed our bus stop because the thing was so packed that some girl was all up in my space and I couldn't move towards the door, and Jongin was dying a little bit and couldn't be expected to hear the stations being called. And then we got off at the next one and then couldn't figure out how to get back the way we came, somehow. But we made it back eventually, sore and tired and cranky, and ended off our day with popsicles we picked up at the convenience store right outside our apartment complex. So, win. I think we can consider Day 7 to be conquered.

This concludes our first week in China! Two more weeks to go, and lots of fun to be had, hopefully. Next up: Hangzhou! Comment below if you have any questions, opinions, or ideas for what we should do in the next 14 days. See you~

“I can’t believe you’re publicly revealing my embarrassing love of dogs!”

Kyungsoo tries his best to bite back a smile as he glances over at where Jongin’s pre-reading his blog post, sitting next to him on their train to Hangzhou. His voice is completely even, though, when he says, “That’s what you get for posting the video of me on your Instagram.”

Jongin splutters. “That was cute. You called me Jonginnie, it had to be shared with the world that you were finally falling for my charms.”

“I’m not falling for anyone,” Kyungsoo says, flushing with embarrassment at the reminder. He’d been distracted, okay, he’d just said it by accident while calling Jongin over to look at something in the convenience store, it hadn’t meant anything. He can’t believe Jongin posted it.

“Your old posts just used digs at Baekhyun for comedic relief,” Jongin mutters, scrolling through the post again. “Now it’s always me.”

“Do you want me to change anything?” Kyungsoo asks, biting his tongue before he accidentally tells Jongin that the fact that he dares to use Jongin as comedic relief in his posts means that his crush may be getting absurdly big. He’s moved past ignore and shut down and straight on to make him the butt of every joke diversionary tactics, even if that’s just in his writing (he continues to ignore and shut down in normal conversation). Unfortunately, he thinks this side of him is even more obvious, and it legitimately keeps him up at night sometimes.

Jongin sighs loudly, breaking him out of his downward spiral of horrifying thoughts. “No,” he says at length. “It’s actually really funny. Your followers will just think I’m a huge weirdo.”

“They’ll watch your documentary and change their minds,” Kyungsoo tells him.

Jongin shoots him a small smile. “Maybe. But really, it’s a good post. I like it.”

“Thanks,” Kyungsoo says, feeling his cheeks flush and quickly turning to face the train window. “I think I’m going to try to nap, I didn’t sleep well last night.”

“Okay,” Jongin says, handing back his laptop carefully. “I’ll just read.”

Kyungsoo hums, slipping his laptop back into his backpack and fishing around for his iPod. They’d been rushed in the morning, desperate to get to the station with plenty of time to spare this time so they wouldn’t end up missing their train again, and he’d just sort of thrown everything into his bag before leaving.

He doesn’t find his iPod immediately, so he picks his backpack up off the floor and starts digging through it, frowning. “Jongin, is my iPod in your bag?”

“Huh? No, I don’t think so.” Jongin picks up his backpack and starts searching as well. “We woke up to your alarm this morning. What did you do with it after that?”

“I turned it off and...put it on my bed. I don’t remember. Everything was such a mess.”

“I don’t have it,” Jongin says, eyebrows furrowed. “Do you think you forgot it there?”

Kyungsoo chews on his lip, thinking back. He remembers grabbing his phone from on top of his duvet, but he doesn’t remember anything about his iPod. In their mad dash out the door, it’s entirely possible that he left it there, tangled up in the sheets. “Fuck. I’m gonna have to message them when I have wi-fi again and ask them to look for me.”

“It’s not a big deal, right? You didn’t have anything important on there, did you?”

Kyungsoo shakes his head. “No, just music. They can send it back to me when we get back to California. But it still sucks. I wanted to listen to that.” He sighs.

Jongin hums sympathetically. “Here,” he says suddenly, and Kyungsoo turns to see him holding out an earbud. “We can share.”

Kyungsoo freezes, then licks his lips, avoiding Jongin’s gaze. “No, it’s fine.”

“No, really. I don’t mind.” Jongin wiggles his earbud invitingly. “I have good taste, I promise.”

With fumbling fingers, Kyungsoo gives in and takes it. “Alright. But tell me if you want it back.”

“Okay,” Jongin says with a bright smile. “Take your nap.”

“Yeah.” Kyungsoo slides the earbud in, and a smooth R&B song plays in his ear. It’s...really nice, actually. Clearing his throat, he picks up his pillow from his lap and settles it around his neck, leaning back in his seat and closing his eyes. Jongin shifts beside him, then quiets, and Kyungsoo lets the vibrations of the train sink into him, and the soft music muffle his annoying thoughts. He drifts off three songs in.

He wakes up from a hazy half-doze maybe forty minutes later when a very familiar song starts playing. “Oh,” he says, out loud in his surprise.

Jongin jerks and looks up from his e-reader, blinking and pink-cheeked. “Um.”

“This was my favourite song,” Kyungsoo says, looking at him. “In college. I listened to it for months.”

“I know,” Jongin says, fidgeting. “Sehun told me.”

“He did?” Now Kyungsoo is embarrassed, too.

“Yeah. He, uh. I don’t know how it came up.” Jongin swallows visibly. “But I downloaded it and it’s, yeah. It’s a really good song. I really like it.”

“I really like it too,” Kyungsoo says stupidly.

“Yeah,” Jongin says, looking embarrassed and bashful. He looks back down at his lap.

Kyungsoo forces himself to lean back again, closing his eyes. “I’m glad you like it,” he mumbles, heart rabbiting for no reason at all. It’s all really stupid. What’s there to be flustered about? And yet both of them are stuttering. It’s ridiculous.

But he doesn’t fall asleep for a long time after that, thinking about it over and over, that Jongin likes his favourite song and has kept it on his iPod for all these years.

“Kyungsoo,” Jongin whispers as they follow their hostess, Yuan, through their homestay in Hangzhou. “Is it just me or is this place infested with sweet potato vines?”

Kyungsoo snorts a little, coughing when Yuan glances back at them. “Yeah, it’s weird,” he mumbles, quietly enough that she won’t be able to catch it. “There’s like a million.”

“Gives it character, at least,” Jongin whispers back, and then shoots Yuan a grin when she turns again.

“Would you like some tea?” Yuan asks as soon she’s pointed them to their beds, which are, thankfully, real beds, and not even just one. And she doesn’t assume Jongin and Kyungsoo are an item. It’s actually kind of wonderful.

“No thank you,” Kyungsoo says quickly, flashing back to the tea he’d been forced to drink in Li’s home.

“The tea here is very famous,” Yuan says. “You’ll like it.”

“Kyungsoo doesn’t drink tea,” Jongin pipes up, and Kyungsoo wants to kiss him (more than usual). He’s never even said anything to Jongin about how much he dislikes unsweetened tea.

“This is longjing tea. Very famous in Hangzhou. I’ll get some for you.” Yuan smiles and disappears.

Kyungsoo groans. “What is it with the Chinese and forcing tea on you?”

“They’re just trying to be gracious hosts,” Jongin says with a laugh. “Can I take the bed by the window?”

“Sure,” Kyungsoo says distractedly, trying to connect to the internet using the password taped to the desk. It’s 8pm, and they haven’t eaten dinner, but otherwise they have no plans for the evening. “Do you want to do something yet tonight?”

“I don’t know, not really? I’m not that tired, though, and my legs are feeling kind of cramped.” Jongin’s stomach rumbles on cue. “And I’m starving.”

“Let’s go scout the area, then,” Kyungsoo says. “Grab dinner. Stretch out a little.”

“Sounds like a party,” Jongin says teasingly.

Kyungsoo feels himself shut down immediately. “We don’t have to,” he says, a knot tightening in his stomach. He’d acted out of line. He’d let his guard down. He’d imagined a sense of comfort between them that wasn’t there, would probably never be there because Kyungsoo has social issues.

“Hey, no, I was kidding,” Jongin says, sitting down and bouncing on his bed to test the mattress. “We can totally do that.”

“No, it’s fine, it was a stupid idea,” Kyungsoo says, turning away and feeling the urge to slam his forehead against the wall.

“Really, Kyungsoo, I was just being dumb. Let’s go scout the area. Get dinner. Like you said.”

Kyungsoo swallows hard, feeling nauseous. “We can do something else if you want.”

“I don’t want to do something else. Let’s do this.”

“Okay.” Kyungsoo swallows anything else he’s going to say. Jongin probably was just joking. But he doesn’t know how to take a fucking joke.

“Oops, never mind, tea’s here. Just drink a tiny bit, I’ll try to get us out of here,” Jongin mumbles as Yuan returns with two mugs of longjing tea. Kyungsoo’s stomach rolls again.

He chokes down a few mouthfuls of tea while Jongin chats up their hostess, and then finally they escape to the streets below. They eat fish and sautéed eggplant at a nearby restaurant, then stroll around the area surrounding their homestay, taking note of the nearby bike rental booths, which Yuan had given them transportation cards for, and finding bubble tea before they head into a convenience store to stock up on snacks and bottled water.

Kyungsoo is staring blankly at rows of toiletries, feeling stupid about basically every social interaction he’d had that day, when Jongin stage-whispers from farther down the aisle, “Kyungsoo. Hey, Kyungsoo. Yah, hyung.”

Kyungsoo snaps out of his daze, looking up just in time to see a head pop up over the shelves of the next aisle. “Hyung?” the head says.

Jongin turns around to face the blond boy peering at them. “Uhh. Ni hao.”

The boy blinks at them, then says, “Ni hanguo ren?”

Jongin blinks back. “He just asked if we’re Korean,” he tells Kyungsoo.

“Ahh. Meiguo ren.” The boy looks disappointed.

And then Jongin tells him, in Korean, that he speaks Korean. Kyungsoo knows that much. He’s not that out of touch with his heritage. But what follows is a mess of excited, chattery Mandarin, Korean, and English, all mashed together and broken, and Kyungsoo is totally lost until Jongin tells him, “His name is Lu Han. He has a Korean boyfriend, so he’s learning Korean and was very excited to hear me speak it.”

“Oh,” Kyungsoo says dumbly. He tries on a smile and a wave.

“Wo de gege bu hui shuo zhongwen,” Jongin tells Lu Han, which Kyungsoo thinks probably means Kyungsoo is an idiot.

“Ahhh,” Lu Han says, beaming anyway. Then, in careful Korean, he says something along the lines of, “He’s cute. Boyfriend?”

Jongin laughs, and Kyungsoo goes red, but thankfully the younger man says, “No, no. Bu shi.”

Lu Han seems to accept that, but he continues to talk to Jongin in animated tones nonetheless, gesturing wildly with his hands when he can’t find the right word in any language. Jongin laughs and responds in kind, and Kyungsoo just stands there, barely understanding any of it.

“He says he’s staying here with his grandmother for the week,” Jongin tells him at some point. “He says he knows Hangzhou well.”

“That’s nice,” Kyungsoo says, shifting from foot to foot.

Jongin and Lu Han chat a bit more, and then Jongin grins and says, “He asked me how my Chinese is so good if I’m not a student here.”

Kyungsoo blinks at him. “How...is it so good?”

That stops Jongin short. He stares at Kyungsoo. “You don’t know?”

“...No?” Kyungsoo flushes hot with shame.

“I minored in Chinese in college,” Jongin says, brows furrowing. “I grew up next to a recent immigrant, Zitao, and we were really close, so I picked some up then, and then I chose it as my minor. How did you not know that? We’ve been travelling together for a week.”

Kyungsoo shrugs, swallowing hard. “I’m. I don’t even know if I know your major. Something in health, right?”

Jongin’s frown deepens. “I—human kinetics. We, Sehun introduced us back then. He must have mentioned it. I know your major, and your minor, and your, your focus in your major, and stuff. Did you never ask about me, even once?”

Kyungsoo is sweating now, and he can feel Lu Han’s gaze on him, judging him even in his lack of understanding. “I don’t know,” Kyungsoo says, but he does know. He never asked. He didn’t want anyone to know he was interested. And he doesn’t remember being introduced, because he’d been too busy internally panicking at the time. He’d been too busy avoiding Jongin at all costs. How was he supposed to know?

Jongin stares at him a second longer, then shakes his head. “Whatever. It doesn’t matter, obviously.” But it sounds like it matters to him. Jongin turns back to Lu Han and starts chatting with him again.

In the end, apparently, Lu Han volunteers to show them around Hangzhou the next day, show them the sights, the good restaurants. Kyungsoo would be grateful, but all he can think about is how stupid he is, how much Jongin must dislike him, how much more Jongin obviously already likes Lu Han after talking to him for five minutes. It’s ridiculous. It’s the worst.

Lu Han lets them go eventually, waving as he walks out the door, and leaves them both in a heavy silence. Kyungsoo doesn’t dare open his mouth. He’ll probably just say something he’ll regret again.

“Let’s go home?” Jongin asks, nodding towards the counter to pay.

“Yeah,” Kyungsoo mutters, and leads the way.

Kyungsoo honestly doesn’t mind spending the day with Lu Han, for the most part. It takes a lot of pressure off of him, letting the older (as he finds out) man take the lead and keep Jongin occupied, and Kyungsoo doesn’t really have to say anything because he only speaks like twenty words of Mandarin and Korean combined. And Kyungsoo likes that—not having to talk, not being the center of attention, not having to worry if Jongin has noticed his crush or if he’s embarrassing himself again. Plus, Lu Han knows the bus and subway routes, he knows how to order good food at good restaurants, he’s never lost or floundering as Kyungsoo has become accustomed to feeling.

But the thing is, hanging out with Lu Han means watching Jongin have more fun than he’s probably had this entire trip, laughing and talking animatedly and becoming best friends with Lu Han in an hour, when Kyungsoo has barely made any progress in a week. And it’s not even like Kyungsoo thinks Jongin has a crush on Lu Han or vice versa, because Lu Han talks about his boyfriend constantly. But that doesn’t mean Kyungsoo isn’t jealous in other ways.

He’s jealous of the easy way Jongin touches Lu Han, bumping shoulders and elbowing sides. He’s jealous of the way Lu Han can make Jongin laugh until he’s in tears. He’s jealous of the way they can be comfortable together, and normal, and enjoy each other’s company, while Kyungsoo stands in the background and watches, boring and lame. It’s no wonder no one’s ever wanted to date him. Not that he needed the reminder.

Lu Han takes them to Hangzhou’s West Lake, a large, calm body of water divided by causeways and lined with parks, pagodas, and temples. They walk at first, buying over-boiled corn on the cob and seeing the sights, and then they rent bikes, cycling along one of the causeways and enjoying the tranquil late morning, bathed in shade from the trees above them. Jongin films a lot, capturing the simple beauty of the parks and Lu Han's antics as he pretends to push Jongin off the docks or does ridiculous things for the camera. Jongin rarely films Kyungsoo.

In the afternoon, after a trip to the nearby food street for Beggar's Chicken, they walk around a tourist souvenir street, and Jongin gives his camcorder to Lu Han, who dutifully films him as Jongin talks at length about Hangzhou, and China, and the people they've met and the things they've done. He walks backwards along the path and rambles about the feeling of China, the sounds and aromas he's come to associate with it, the things it's taught him. Kyungsoo listens in, but stays out of the way. Jongin never mentions him.

They buy more ridiculous souvenirs, and browse some quirky shops and watch a street artist sketch a little girl, and Lu Han tells them whenever they come across jade jewellery that is definitely fake. They go back to the park and Lu Han pretends to join in the middle-aged men and women dancing to traditional music, and then Jongin actually does join in, improvising as he goes, body twisting and spinning and flowing like water from one position to the next. Kyungsoo watches, entranced, and thinks that he wouldn't be so embarrassed to do stuff like that in public if he was that beautiful, either. He snaps pictures eagerly, hoping Jongin won't notice or won't object.

As afternoon turns to evening, they get wonton soup at a quaint little restaurant and bubble tea at another, and then Lu Han takes them to a night market, exploring stalls stocked full of hats and t-shirts and jewellery and phone cases.

"I've seen so many girls wearing these," Jongin says, fingering a circle of blue plastic flowers.

Lu Han plucks it out of his fingers and settles it into Jongin's hair. "Yeppeo," he chirps, grinning.

Jongin laughs. "Should I buy this?" he asks, and then translates it into slow Korean.

Lu Han laughs as well, nodding.

"How do I look, Kyungsoo?" Jongin asks, turning to him and posing with his hands under his chin. "Am I cute?"

Kyungsoo's lips quirk up slightly, and he lifts his camera to snap a picture before Jongin can take it off. "Sure," he says, even though he wants to say yes.

"We'll buy you one, too," Jongin says, picking up another circlet with tiny red roses. "We can match."

Now Kyungsoo splutters. "I don't want one."

"I think you doooooo," Jongin says. He drops the flower crown onto Kyungsoo's hair, and it lies there at an odd angle. "Very cute, Mr. Do."

"Hen ke ai," Lu Han coos.

"See? Lu Han thinks so too." Jongin grins.

Kyungsoo is pretty sure his cheeks are as red as the flowers. "People are looking at us, Jongin," he says, looking around in embarrassment as they begin to draw stares.

"So?" Jongin laughs. "They're only looking because you're adorable."

Kyungsoo flushes darker. "Or because we're putting on hair accessories without buying them."

Jongin ignores him to say something to Luhan in Korean, who nods and turns to the seller at the booth and chatters in Mandarin. "Is he asking for prices?" Kyungsoo asks, sweating.

"They're bartering, actually," Jongin says with a grin. "The seller said twenty kuai, and Lu Han said ten. I'm guessing they'll settle on fifteen. That's like two dollars, Kyungsoo. Come on."

"Why would I pay any money for a flower crown?" Kyungsoo asks, fingers twitching at his side to either take the thing off or at least straighten it.

"Because it's cute and you should match me!" Jongin says. "And at the end of the vacation, if you don't love it, I'll buy it off you and give it to my niece."

"You have a niece?"

Jongin beams. "Yeah! She's only three years old. Her name is Rahee."

"Shi wu kuai," Luhan butts in to say, grinning.

"See? Fifteen, like I said." Jongin looks smug.

"I don't even want it!" Kyungsoo argues.

Jongin sighs gustily. "Fine. You're forcing my hand." Kyungsoo feels relieved for a moment, until Jongin turns and produces three 10¥ bills.

"Why are you buying them both?" Kyungsoo asks, loudly enough that anyone who wasn't already staring turns to do so.

"Because we have to match," Jongin says, rolling his eyes. "Now you're not allowed to take it off, Soo, I bought it for you."

Kyungsoo opens his mouth to protest, but then he registers the nickname, spoken so casually, and oh, Kyungsoo is so weak. He huffs and straightens the crown carefully. "Fine."

Jongin smiles blindingly. "Selfie!" he cheers, and whips his phone out of his pocket to snap one. Kyungsoo does his best to look appropriately miserable, even if the attention and closeness makes his heart flutter a little.

Which he would have hated, usually, but he's had a bad day and he thinks he deserves five seconds of basking before he returns to his usual socially inept self.

He resigns himself to wearing the flower crown for the rest of the evening, even when they attract looks and girls point at them across the street and giggle. Kyungsoo tries not to let it show, how mortified he is for most of the evening, and Jongin mostly talks to Lu Han as they walk around and visit various stores, but occasionally he glances back at Kyungsoo and smiles, and that makes it kind of worth all the embarrassment.

"Good job today, Kyungsoo," Jongin says later, in their room and getting ready for bed. When Kyungsoo gives him an odd look, Jongin adds, "You told me on the plane that embarrassing yourself in front of strangers was your worst fear. But you did it tonight, for me. I'm proud of you."

He says it lightly, a little bit teasingly, but Kyungsoo can tell he means it, to some extent. He blushes. "Whatever," he mutters, and doesn't say that embarrassing himself in front of Jongin has become much more potent than any stranger.

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