Kyungsoo shakes his head to himself. He doesn’t want another job, he wouldn’t get another job because he knows how job interviews go, he knows he’ll be asked about his family and he can just imagine the looks in their eyes when he tells them that he doesn’t have one.
Jihyun turns to face him once they’ve arrived at Taemin’s door. She knocks three times and opens it for Kyungsoo to walk inside.
"Thank you Jihyun, you can leave now.” Taemin says once Kyungsoo is inside. The woman nods and closes the door behind herself, leaving Kyungsoo alone with his boss.
"You wanted to speak to me?” Kyungsoo clears his throat and goes to sit down when Taemin gestures to one of the chairs in front of his desk.
"That’s right.” Taemin eyes him silently for a moment before sighing deeply. "I’m sure you know about what happened yesterday with my uncle and Jongin. The whole office does.” He chuckles bitterly.
Kyungsoo gulps. "I’m sorry for that.”
"Ah, it’s not your fault.“ Taemin shakes his head and is silent for a few seconds, his eyebrows scrunched up like he’s deep in thought. "How is he?“ He suddenly asks and Kyungsoo tenses up in his chair.
"What?“
"I’m talking about Jongin.” His boss looks into his eyes and Kyungsoo tries not to shrink into himself under his gaze. "He isn’t answering my calls. I talked to my uncle. Things aren’t okay, are they?”
"Mr. Lee-”
"It’s Taemin, Kyungsoo. How many times do I have to tell you that?”
Kyungsoo apologizes and clears his throat. "I’m afraid I don’t understand what you mean.”
"You don’t?” Taemin cocks his head to the side. "Alright. Let me help you understand. Our Jonginnie is completely smitten with you. The kid looks at you like an excited puppy whenever he sees you around the office. I know you are aware of that. You have been spending a lot of time together lately after all.”
When Kyungsoo doesn’t answer Taemin puts on a smile, probably after seeing the look of terror and confusion on Kyungsoo’s face. He doesn’t think anyone ever saw Kyungsoo and Jongin leaving the office in the same car and once at the office, they didn’t ever really talk to the other. He also never really noticed Jongin looking at him in a way that would make anyone suspicious of them.
"Our Chanyeol isn’t really good at keeping things to himself I’m afraid.” Taemin explains. "And also; I’m not an idiot. I do have a pair of working eyes, you know.”
"I-” Kyungsoo starts but he finds that he doesn’t even know what he wants to say. "I apologize. I didn’t mean to disrespect you or the company’s policies.”
"Kyungsoo.” Taemin says and waits for him to look and into his eyes. "We’ve been working together for a few years now. You are on the most hardworking and sincere employees here.”
Kyungsoo holds his breath, waits for the inevitable but.
"Ease up, will you? I didn’t order you here to fire you.” Taemin chuckles. "As long as you two keep work and your personal relationship separate, none of this is my business.”
The look Kyungsoo gives him must be hilarious because the man laughs at him for a few seconds.
"You heard me.” Taemin is smirking now. "Honestly, I don’t know what you see in my bratty cousin but I guess the heart wants what it wants, right?”
Kyungsoo can’t help but open his mouth like a goldfish for a moment. Taemin is acting like...
well, just Taemin. A simple young man, not the CEO of one of the most successful companies in the country.
"So, how is he doing?” He asks again, not even giving Kyungsoo a chance to speak. "I would’ve gone to his apartment but I don’t think he wants to see anyone right now. I’m worried about him.”
Kyungsoo still stares at Taemin, completely dumbfounded and he doesn’t think Jongin’s cousin should ask him about his well being. It doesn’t feel right at all. It doesn’t feel right, the thought that Kyungsoo’s suddenly closer to Jongin than his own family.
"I think... I think he just needs a little time.” He repeats his words from yesterday again. "It’s a lot to take in.”
Taemin’s smile turns sad, his eyes soft at Kyungsoo’s words. Since Kyungsoo is his employee he knows of his past, knows about his situation and in that moment he must understand that Kyungsoo is probably the only person that can at least somehow understand how Jongin is feeling even if it’s completely different in some way.
"My uncle... my uncle and aunt, they love Jongin more than anything else in this world.” Taemin says quietly. "I don’t see how they could survive in a world where Jongin doesn’t call them mom and dad anymore.”
The words are incredibly sad and they squeeze Kyungsoo’s heart in his chest.
"Can you just... make sure he doesn’t do anything stupid?” Taemin sighs and leans back. "I know he needs time, of course he does. This situation is so... messed up. And I know my uncle made a huge mistake, maybe even unforgivable to some. But they’re not bad people. Love and fear are a dangerous combination. Makes people do crazy things.”
Kyungsoo nods and then decides to ask what’s burning in his mind. "Did you know?”
Taemin shakes his head. "I found out yesterday as well. No one in our family knew.”
And Kyungsoo wants to ask how that’s possible.
How could they just pretend that Jongin was their biological child without anyone finding out the truth?
In the picture of them Jongin had to be at least four years old. If they adopted him at that age, how didn’t anyone ever question it? How could that even make sense?
"I see you have a lot of questions.” Taemin clears his throat. "But I’m afraid it is not my place to tell you.”
"Of course.” Kyungsoo’s mind is still reeling with the new information though.
Taemin suddenly starts smiling again and Kyungsoo starts shifting in his seat uncomfortably.
"Did you need anything else from me?”
His boss shakes his head. "No, that’s all. You can go back to work.”
Kyungsoo nods and gets up to leave but just as he curls his fingers around the door handle Taemin stops him.
"Kyungsoo?”
"Yes?” He turns around to face him again.
"Take care of him, will you? Don’t go hurting him. Jongin’s been through a lot.” Taemin’s smile is a sad one. "And you know, he is my little cousin after all. I will look out for him if you do something stupid.”
Kyungsoo’s entire face burns up within a second and he doesn’t think he even remembers how to spell his own name in that moment. "Uhm. I.” He ends up chuckling like an idiot.
"It’s okay.” Taemin laughs. "I’m just teasing you Kyungsoo. You can leave now.”
Kyungsoo nods his head in a silent goodbye and flees the room, keeping his eyes on the ground the entire way back to his cubicle. Everyone’s staring and it takes a lot of willpower not to look into their faces and ask them what the hell their problem is - even if he actually knows the reason for the stares and glares.
Sehun looks up from his computer and gives him an anxious look as he gets up from his desk and walks over to Kyungsoo’s. "Do we have to look for a new job?”
Kyungsoo sits down with a sigh, ignoring how Sehun just automatically assumes that he’d have to look for a new job as well if Kyungsoo got fired. "No.”
"What did he want?”
"Nothing.” He replies but notices how Sehun’s face falls and remembers that he said he’d try to be a better friend. "He knows.” He adds.
"And?”
"I mean. He didn’t fire me, so.”
Sehun studies his face for a moment. "Taemin’s a good man.”
Kyungsoo nods his head.
"And you’re fucking Kim Jongin.” His friend adds after a beat. "What the hell is happening in the world?”
"Shut up.” Kyungsoo mutters. "Sehun, don’t say stuff like that.”
"Why not?” Sehun scoffs. "It’s true. It’s why everyone in here wants to strangle you. Because you get to hop on his dick-”
Kyungsoo reaches out to grip his tie, tugging him forwards which makes Sehun almost topple over. "Stop!”
Sehun slaps his hands away, pouting as he fixes his tie. The boy doesn’t even understand why he’s driving Kyungsoo up the wall right now given his next words. "Jeez, sorry, I just thought you’d bottom because I can’t imagine Jongin taking it up the ass to be honest-”
Kyungsoo’s face is positively on fire when he reaches for his paper knife and he honestly hasn’t ever seen Sehun move so fast because his friend is back at his own cubicle in the blink of an eye.
Kyungsoo glares at him, waving the knife in his hand once and Sehun shakes his head at him, smirking as he mouths "Witnesses”.
It starts raining again when Kyungsoo is sitting in his car later that evening, on his way to pick Jongin up after exchanging a few text messages to check up on his well being.
Kyungsoo is nervous for two reasons.
Because for one, he doesn’t know what’s going to happen tonight when they talk to Soojin. He doesn’t know what she’s going to tell them, how much she will remember, if the things they will hear will only make the situation worse.
And the other thing is simple. It’s Jongin.
Kyungsoo doesn’t know what they are and he doesn’t know how to act around him, especially now that the younger has so much more important things on his mind than his relationship status with Kyungsoo.
It wasn’t easy for Kyungsoo to act on his actual feelings back in Jongin’s apartment, when the younger kissed him, when he told Kyungsoo to stop pushing him away and when Kyungsoo agreed to it while his mind was clouded with Jongin’s overwhelming presence, the way his lips felt against his own.
He shakes his head and decides to stop thinking about it too much. He just wants to make sure that Jongin feels comfortable around him - especially now that everything’s already so complicated for Jongin - so he’s ready to put his own worries aside for the moment.
Jongin is already waiting outside when Kyungsoo arrives at his apartment.
He’s dressed in normal clothes and it’s something Kyungsoo’s eyes aren’t used to at all. He hasn’t ever seen him wear anything else but suits so seeing him in a loose sweater and simple jeans makes him look like an entirely different person.
Jongin quickly opens the door and gets in, visibly shuddering from the warmth inside the car. "Hi.” He breathes as he fastens his seatbelt.
His cheeks are red, so is the tip of his nose and Kyungsoo can’t help but frown once he realizes that Jongin isn’t wearing a coat. "Hey. Why aren’t you wearing a coat?”
The younger gives him a confused look and Kyungsoo tries to ignore the way his dark eyes scan his entire face quickly. "I didn’t think I’d need one since we’re going by car. Or are we going somewhere else?”
Kyungsoo starts driving again and shakes his head. "No but it’s cold outside. You could get sick.” He reaches his hand out to change the direction of the warm air from the air conditioner.
"Put your hands here.”
"Hyung, I’m fine.” Jongin mumbles. Kyungsoo looks at him and can’t help the way his eyes soften because Jongin looks so incredibly tired. He can’t help but wonder if he cried or how upset he was once Kyungsoo left. Maybe it’s too soon to feel like that but every fiber of his being seems to care about Jongin’s well being more than his own.
He reaches out and takes one of Jongin’s hands into his own, glaring at him when he feels how ice cold his fingers are. He holds them in front of the vent closest to Jongin. "Put your other one here too, will you?”
Kyungsoo focuses back on the road but he can see the little smile on Jongin’s face when he does as he’s told.
It’s silent in the car after that save for the sounds of cars passing and the warm air blowing out of the vents to warm up the inside of his car. Kyungsoo has a dozen questions burning at the tip of his tongue but he doesn’t dare ask them, at least not before they’ve talked to Soojin.
"How was it at the office?” Jongin asks after a while. Kyungsoo glances at him, sees the younger resting his elbow on the windowsill.
"People know.” Kyungsoo answers, not bothering to hide the truth from him. "They’re talking.”
"Why am I not surprised.”
"I’m sorry.” Kyungsoo feels like he’s been apologizing a lot to him but he doesn’t know what else he should do. Jongin turns to look at him and shakes his head, a tired smile tugging at his lips.
"Don’t be. None of that is your fault.”
"How are you feeling?” Kyungsoo asks.
"I’m okay.” He shrugs. "I’m like, still half-convinced all of this is just a horrible dream though.” Jongin chuckles quietly.
"Did you talk to them?”
"My parents?” Jongin asks and hesitates, like he’s wondering if he’s still supposed to use that title. "No. They tried to call but I just. I need some time. I need some answers before I can talk to them. I don’t want to hurt them again like I did yesterday.”
Kyungsoo’s heart twitches because he knows that Jongin’s a kind person but he’s still thinking about his parents’ feelings despite everything they’ve done to him. He wonders if he ever really thinks about his own feelings.
Or if he thinks he deserves the bad things because according to him, he used to treat people like shit a few years back.
"I hope you’ll get the answers you’re looking for tonight.” Kyungsoo mumbles.
Jongin nods. "I hope so too. But we both need answers, hyung. We were both on that picture, right?” Jongin glances at him, and when their eyes meet, Kyungsoo’s heart does a happy little jump in his chest. He can hardly look away from Jongin’s eyes, wanting to reach out and take his hand, feel the warmth of his skin and intertwine their fingers tightly.
And it’s like Jongin can read his mind because a moment later he does what Kyungsoo is lacking the courage to do, reaches over the armrest separating them and takes Kyungsoo’s hand that is curled over the clutch.
He slides his fingers into the gaps between Kyungsoo’s and curls them to press their palms together tightly, his thumb brushing over the back of Kyungsoo’s hand.
Kyungsoo stares at the road, slightly overwhelmed from how soothing and grounding it feels to hold Jongin’s hand, how it makes most of Kyungsoo’s anxiety ebb away.
He squeezes Jongin’s hand and brushes his own thumb over his knuckles, trying not to smile too when he catches Jongin smiling at their hands before he turns to look out of the window.
Before they go inside, Jongin stops and stares at the garden of the orphanage. Kyungsoo waits and looks at him with concern because he can’t tell what Jongin is feeling, what he’s thinking.
There are tiny clouds puffing out of their lips, and Kyungsoo shudders when a gush of ice cold air their forms.
He steps closer when Jongin hasn’t moved for a long time, the gravel underneath his shoes crunching loudly in the silence around them. "Jongin, we should go inside. You’ll get sick.”
"Is that it?” Jongin asks, tilting his head as he steps closer to where the grass from the garden starts. Kyungsoo furrows his eyebrows and tries to figure out what Jongin is looking at.
"What?”
"The tree.” Jongin mumbles and suddenly, Kyungsoo understands. He’s talking about the picture Kyungsoo has hidden away in his pocket, where the two little boys are smiling into the camera in front of a huge tree.
"Yes.” Kyungsoo answers, stepping up beside him.
Jongin doesn’t talk again for a moment. "Do you, do you remember if there used to be a swing there?” His voice is shaking slightly. "Like, one... one made out of a huge tyre?”
Kyungsoo freezes at the question, his heart suddenly pounding a lot faster.
He honestly didn’t expect Jongin to remember anything about his time at the orphanage.
"You remember?” Kyungsoo asks, disbelief painting his voice.
"I just remember playing on a swing like that.”
"The branch nearly broke one time when one of the kids was playing on it. They took it down after that.” Kyungsoo explains.
Jongin looks at the ground, his eyebrows furrowed, and he’s silent for so long it starts to worry Kyungsoo. "Are you okay?”
"Sorry. I’m stupid.” Jongin huffs and brings the sleeve of his sweater up to rub at his eyes. "I guess it just didn’t feel real until now.” He swears quietly, and Kyungsoo sees his shoulders shake and before he knows it he has his arms around Jongin, the younger’s head buried in his shoulder, his hands grasping the back of Kyungsoo’s coat weakly.
Jongin feels cold in his arms and Kyungsoo tries to warm him up as best as he can, feeling Jongin burrow deeper into his embrace, like he’s seeking comfort and Kyungsoo is ready to give him anything he needs at this point. "You’ll be fine.” Kyungsoo tries to comfort him, not sure if he’s succeeding because saying those things is so difficult, no matter how much he means it.
It’s like his own lips aren’t used to those kind of words, struggling to speak them out loud but if it’ll make Jongin feel better he doesn’t care. He just wants him to be okay.
He breathes in Jongin’s sweet scent and everything about this moment makes his heart swell so painfully that he worries it might burst. Jongin holding on to him like this, them standing in the garden of the orphanage surrounded by what has to be the coldest night of the year so far.
"We should go inside.” He mumbles and it takes a few seconds for Jongin to step away. Kyungsoo smiles at him and reaches out to wipe away some of the wetness on his cheeks.
"I promise I’m usually not such a cry baby.” Jongin grumbles like it’s hurting his pride to be seen crying.
Kyungsoo chuckles. "Sure you aren’t.”
Taeil is sitting on the carpet at the entrance when they step inside a moment later, almost like the little boy was waiting for their arrival (which he probably was).
"Hyung!” He scrambles up from his seat and makes grabby hands at Jongin who has one of the fondest smiles on his face Kyungsoo has ever seen. He crouches down and wraps his arms around the little boy, standing up again when Taeil wraps himself around his hyung like a koala baby. "I-I missed you s-so much, Jongin hyung!”
Jongin chuckles and holds the little boy closer and Kyungsoo clears his throat to himself, not really sure where the stupid stinging in his eyes suddenly came from. "I missed you too, buddy.”
"Hi you two.” Joohyun walks up to them with a smile on her face. "It’s nice to see you again, Jongin. That little monster’s been driving us crazy about you coming to visit him again.”
"I’m really sorry.” Jongin says over Taeil’s shoulder since the boy is refusing to let go of him. "Work just kept me really busy.”
"Of course. Don’t worry about it.” She smiles at him and walks over to give Kyungsoo a hug, scolding him as she pinches his sides. "Did you lose weight again?”
"No.” Kyungsoo rolls his eyes even if she’s probably right. He catches Jongin’s worried look and sighs. "I didn’t.” He insists.
"Do I look like I’m stupid?” She pinches his arm this time. "Go sit down. I’ll whip up some food for you two.”
"Where’s Naeun?” Kyungsoo asks since the little girl would usually be here to greet him by now.
"Noona is s-sick!” Taeil turns his face, pressing his cheek against Jongin’s chest as he pouts at Kyungsoo.
Kyungsoo turns to look at Joohyun, not able to keep the concern out of his voice. "Is she okay?”
"She came down with a stomach flu. She’s okay, don’t worry.” She reassures him. "We gave her some medicine and she’s been sleeping pretty much the entire day.”
"I wasn’t allowed t-to p-play with h-her.” Taeil juts his lower lip out at Jongin.
"That’s so you don’t get sick too.” Jongin rubs his back.
"W-will you p-play with m-me?”
"Of course.”
Taeil hugs him again, resting his head on Jongin’s shoulder sleepily while Jongin holds him against his chest.
"I’ll just quickly check up on Naeun.” Kyungsoo says to him.
Jongin hesitates, concern flickering through his eyes before he gives a nod. "O-okay.”
There’s something about Jongin stuttering. It squeezes Kyungsoo’s chest so painfully because he knows how much the younger struggled because of it in the past and how it still appears when he’s either nervous or scared.
Naeun is sleeping when Kyungsoo crouched down next to her, brushing her sweaty bangs out of her eyes with a pained smile on his face. It hurts him to see her so small and weak.
The little girl whimpers, her lower lip wobbling as she turns to her side and blinks her eyes open. She gazes up at him through teary eyes.
"Hey little one.” He whispers, brushing a thumb over the heated skin on her cheek. "Did my little Naeun get sick?”
She starts crying and nods, reaching her small hand out to hold Kyungsoo’s. "My tummy hurts a lot.”
Kyungsoo feels his heart break a little at her words and brushes his thumb over her little hand comfortingly. Naeun doesn’t really have anyone else in her life apart from them - none of these kids do - but since Naeun is so attached to him, it always feels like he failed in taking care of her whenever she gets hurt or sick. "Did you drink your medicine?”
She nods, sniffling cutely.
"Then it will stop hurting really soon, okay?”
"Promise?”
"Would I ever lie to you, princess?”
She shakes her head. "No.”
Kyungsoo sees that she’s trying to get rid of the snot in her nose with his sleeve and stops her, grabbing the box of tissues next to the mattress to help her. He holds it to her nose and waits for her to blow out most of the snot.
"I’m thirsty.” She mumbles, her nose red now from the tissue which makes her look really adorable.
There’s a jug of water and a cup standing on the table at the end of the room so Kyungsoo gets up to fill it with some water before heading back to give it to her.
"Sit up.” He holds her back and helps her drink from the cup without spilling any of the water. "Do you need anything else?” He asks as he tucks her back in her bed.
She shakes her head, her eyelids fluttering sleepily. "Are you going to leave?”
"I will be downstairs.”
"Can you leave the light on?”
He smiles and leans in to kiss her forehead. "Sure.”
"Will you bake me cupcakes?”
Kyungsoo chuckles. "If you promise to get better really fast.”
"I promise.”
"Alright. Goodnight, little one.”
She reaches her arms out and Kyungsoo leans down to give her a hug. "Goodnight. I love you to the moon and back!”
Kyungsoo freezes as he pulls back, smiling down at her. "Where did you learn that?”
"I saw it in a movie.” She smiles up at him. "I love you the most. I love you to the moon and back, Kyungsoo oppa.”
Kyungsoo takes a deep breath, pushes his stupid problems, and fears back for Naeun’s sake when she looks at him expectantly.
"Me too, little one.”
Jongin is already sitting at the dinner table when Kyungsoo goes downstairs, Taeil sitting in his lap, looking like he’s about to fall asleep there. Most of the kids are watching TV or are playing in the living room, shouting their greetings at Kyungsoo or coming up to him to hug him. Kyungsoo takes his time to listen to them because they all have so much to tell about the things they learned at school or what they found while they were playing in the garden.
"Kids, leave Kyungsoo alone. He has to eat dinner now; you can play with him later.” Seulgi ushers the kids away and kisses Kyungsoo’s cheek with a "hi there, handsome.”
Kyungsoo smiles at her but stops once he catches Jongin’s look from the table. There’s a crease between his eyebrows, almost like he’s irritated and Kyungsoo doesn’t know why it makes his chest feel so weird but it does.
He doesn’t really understand how anyone could ever get jealous because of him, especially not someone like Jongin but the way Jongin frowns down at his table shows that Seulgi’s words definitely made him feel a little jealous.
Kyungsoo sits down next to him, not really knowing what he’s supposed to do when Jongin doesn’t look at him. "She always says things like that.” He tries, clearing his throat as he reaches for the chopsticks.
Jongin turns to look at him. "Oh. Yeah, that’s cool.” But he doesn’t look like it’s cool when he tries to eat his food without disturbing the toddler that’s currently napping in his lap.
So Kyungsoo just moves his leg and presses his knee against Jongin’s - the way the younger did a while back - almost in reassurance that Kyungsoo honestly is only interested in Jongin.
Jongin halts in his movements and a moment later he feels him pressing back, a smile tugging at his lips and Kyungsoo wants to smile too because apparently, it’s really easier for them to communicate without words.
"Hey Taeil. Let Jongin eat his food, okay?” Seulgi tries to lift the boy from Jongin’s lap. "You can play with him later.”
"N-No.” Taeil pouts, clinging to Jongin’s arm.
"Taeil.” Seulgi gives him a stern look.
Jongin shakes his head at her. "It’s okay. He can stay.” He’s about to put a piece of chicken into his mouth when Taeil opens his mouth wide, like he was expecting Jongin to feed him. "Are you hungry?”
Taeil nods, his little mouth still forming a cute ‘O’.
"Taeil.” Seulgi laughs and shakes his head. "You already had dinner. You’ll get a tummy ache if you eat again.”
The little boy pouts again and Jongin groans. "I can’t eat when he looks at me like that. I’m sorry.” He quickly pops the meat into Taeil’s mouth who starts munching on it happily, one of his hands playing with Jongin’s hair.
Seulgi sighs at Jongin. "You’re really too easy on him.”
Kyungsoo smiles to himself and then sees how hungry Jongin seems, half of his meat already gone before Kyungsoo has even touched his own. "Did you eat anything today?”
Jongin looks up at him with his mouth stuffed, a look on his face like he just got caught. He nods but Kyungsoo knows he’s lying.
He picks up the chicken from his plate and puts it on Jongin’s instead. "Eat that.”
"Hyung.” Jongin begins to argue. "You should eat it, you need to gain weight.” His eyes widen when he realizes what he said and he quickly shakes his head. "I just mean Joohyun’s right, you lost weight. You should take better care of yourself. But I think you’re perfect like this too.” And his eyes widen even more, the tips of his ears turning pink. He starts eating again to avoid looking into his face and Kyungsoo - still a little taken aback by his words - catches Seulgi’s eyes from across the table.
She’s smiling at him, half teasing and half happy.
Kyungsoo clears his throat. "Where’s Soojin?” He asks, not having seen the old woman around tonight.
"She’s taking a nap. I don’t think she’s feeling too well.” Seulgi purses her lips. "Why?”
Kyungsoo briefly glances at Jongin and finds that the younger is now pushing the food around in his plate almost nervously. "There’s something I want to talk to her about.” He hesitates, feels Jongin’s leg against his own and decides to add, "Jongin and I, we both want to talk to her.”
Seulgi raises her eyebrows at them, confusion written on her face. "Well, in that case I’ll go wake her up. You guys finish your food.”
Honestly, he doesn’t really know what he expected to happen once they told them about Jongin.
But they’re gathered in the living room later, Jongin and him sitting next to each other on the smaller couch while Soojin, Seulgi and Joohyun are sitting on the one on the other side.
The kids are all asleep upstairs and when Jongin opens his mouth to talk his voice is shaking and it sounds eerily loud in the old house. Kyungsoo wants to hold his hand but he can’t and he also can’t sit closer to him, so he just stares into Soojin’s face, watches her eyes change while she listens to everything Jongin has to say.
They’re confused when Jongin confesses that he’s the son of the family that bought the orphanage. They’re taken aback when he tells them that he just found out that he was adopted. And then, at the end, when he tells them that he used to be an orphan at the Cheonguk orphanage, recognition lights up in her old eyes right before they fill with tears.
Joohyun and Seulgi both look like they’re having a hard time making sense of Jongin’s words and when Kyungsoo glances to the side he sees how tight Jongin has clasped his hands together between his knees. He has the urge to hold it but he knows this isn’t the place to do that.
"Jongin.” Soojin shakes his head. "Little Jongin who never talked. He got adopted when he was four years old. You’re telling me that’s... you?”
Jongin gulps, nodding his head. "Yes.”
"Oh my god.” Joohyun whispers, holding her hands to her mouth. "I remember you. I remember there was a little boy who didn’t speak. That’s... that was you?”
What follows are endless tears, mostly on the girls’ and Soojin’s part, and they hug Jongin until the boy can’t breathe properly when Jongin tells them that the orphanage is saved, that he will make sure nothing will happen to it, and where Kyungsoo expected him to get really upset and emotional, Jongin is smiling and it almost looks like he’s doing the comforting instead of the other way around.
Kyungsoo shows them the picture of him and Jongin when they’re drinking tea a while later. Soojin smiles as she looks at it, brushing away a tear that threatens to escape her eye. "Kyungsoo and you... you two used to be inseparable. You used to follow Kyungsoo around wherever he went, clinging to the hem of his sweater all day.”
Jongin shifts next to him, his hands twitching, and Kyungsoo feels his heart thumping wildly as he listens to Soojin’s words.
Because Kyungsoo does remember a little boy from his past, he remembers playing with him all the time before he just... disappeared. But how could he have ever known that it was Jongin?
"The children used to tease Jongin a lot because he didn’t talk. But you, Kyungsoo, you always protected him and that’s why Jongin never left your side. Our Kyungsoo had a big heart, even then. I have never seen a child your age act so mature and responsible because of a friend. Whenever Jongin cried, Kyungsoo would try to cheer him up by giving him his toys.” Soojin chuckles fondly. "Once a month toys would get dropped off at the orphanage, donations from people, but they were gone so fast because every kid wanted the best toy. I remember one time, Jongin was napping when the toys were dropped off and he was really sad because he didn’t get a single toy. Kyungsoo, you... you gave him all your toys you managed to pick up that day. Can you imagine?” She shakes her head, her eyes turning solemn. "When Jongin left, Kyungsoo turned really quiet. You didn’t play with anyone for a long time and you didn’t let anyone else play with Jongin’s toys. You didn’t let anyone sleep in Jongin’s bed either. I remember how much it broke my heart because I knew Jongin was the only child that was so close to Kyungsoo. You were like brothers.”
Kyungsoo gulps heavily. He remembers that too. He remembers a lot of sadness, remembers some grown ups visiting the orphanage a couple of times, always playing with his friend - with Jongin - and he never understood what it all was about. He remembers coming downstairs one day to find Jongin crying as a tall man held him to his chest. He remembers asking where Jongin was going and how they told him that Jongin was going home and Kyungsoo didn’t understand because the orphanage was Jongin’s home.
And he remembers the scared look in Jongin’s eyes when he spotted Kyungsoo standing downstairs, almost as if he was pleading Kyungsoo to save him like he always did, but Kyungsoo was only a kid and there was nothing he could do to stop those strangers from taking his friend away.
"You sat at the window for hours, waiting for him to come back. We kept telling you that he wasn’t going to come back but it took you a few days to finally realize that we were telling the truth.”
Kyungsoo feels Jongin’s eyes on him and it feels like his heart is being squeezed in his chest. Because if what Soojin is telling them is true, it means that Kyungsoo used to like Jongin a lot when they were kids and now, almost twenty years later, he still does.
"When was I adopted?” Jongin asks quietly. "I just... I can’t remember almost anything from what you just told me.”
"If I’m not completely mistaken, you were four, just about to turn five.” She nods to herself. "Oh Jongin... You didn’t have it very easy here and you were so young. I’m afraid you just suppressed those memories. I can’t speak for your family; I don’t know what they told you, if they helped you forget. But from the things that happened to you at such young age, you only remember the important things very vividly.”
"But then why don’t I remember Kyungsoo hyung?”
Everyone in the room falls silent, three pairs of eyes focused on Jongin once they make sense of Jongin’s words and at first, Kyungsoo thinks that Jongin just slipped, that he didn’t mean to say that, but then the younger turns his head and looks at Kyungsoo like he’s scared that he’ll get angry at him for saying something like that.
But Jongin looks so lost and Kyungsoo isn’t angry at all and they silently look at each other until someone clears their throat.
"Maybe because getting separated from him was like a traumatic event for you.” Seulgi suggests, her eyes moving back and forth between the two of them.
She knows.
"So your mind just... I don’t know, deleted the memories.”
"That’s so sad.” Joohyun mumbles.
"I remember.” Kyungsoo says, looking at Jongin. "I remember most of it. I can help you remember.”
No one has ever looked at Kyungsoo the way Jongin does in that moment, like he’s trying to squeeze Kyungsoo’s heart with how much it twists in his chest, and when the younger’s eyes
suddenly look dangerously wet, Kyungsoo finds it hard not to reach over and hold his hand.
"Okay.”
And somehow, Kyungsoo just knows that everyone in this room knows what Kyungsoo only recently managed to admit to himself.
That Jongin makes him feel things he has never felt towards anyone.
"Come visit us more often.” Soojin hugs Jongin tightly when they’re about to leave. "You’re a part of our family too. You’re always welcome here.”
Kyungsoo looks at the way Jongin smiles at her, how genuinely happy he looks, how handsome his smile is, and it makes his breath falter even though he should be used to it after spending a decent amount of time with the younger.
"You never break your promises, do you?” Seulgi suddenly mutters next to him.
"What?”
"You said you’d help us.” She whispers. "You said you’d save the orphanage. And you did.”
Kyungsoo shakes his head, watching Joohyun give Jongin a warm hug. "I didn’t do anything.” He really just created a huge mess, revealing things that weren’t supposed to be revealed, at least not from him.
Seulgi sighs and together, they watch how Jongin chuckles at something Joohyun tells him. "It’s like fate brought you two together again.”
And this time, Kyungsoo doesn’t deny it, his eyes glued to the crinkles that appear in the corners of Jongin’s eyes when he smiles.
"You guys are so obvious.” She chuckles, shaking her head. "He looks at you like you hung the stars for him.”
Kyungsoo shakes his head, feeling his face heat up. "That’s not true.”
"You look at him the same way.”
Kyungsoo turns to look at her then, gulping nervously. "I do?”
"You really like him, huh?” And then something strange happens; Seulgi’s eyes fill with tears and Kyungsoo is so surprised because he can’t remember the last time he’s seen the girl cry. He hugs her because it looks like she needs it right now and she rests her head on his shoulder, sniffling quietly. "I’m so proud of you, Soo.”
Kyungsoo rubs her back and catches Jongin’s eyes from over her shoulder, and Jongin gives him a timid smile, his eyes so bright, and Kyungsoo can only think one thing in that moment.
How much he wants to kiss him.
The ride home is pretty much spent in silence.
When Kyungsoo is about to drive the car into the direction of Jongin’s apartment, the younger speaks up.
"Can I stay with you tonight?”
And because he’s driving, Kyungsoo doesn’t have much time to make a decision and he ends up driving straight ahead, away from where Jongin’s apartment is located. Once he realizes that, his heart nearly stops.
"I’m sorry.” Jongin utters, sensing Kyungsoo’s anxiety. "I just. I want to be with you for a little longer.”
Kyungsoo nods, gulping heavily. “Okay.”
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